I’m not black enough.
Walking to my first job as a newspaper solicitor at 15 years old, I’ve had grown men in pickup trucks yelling racial slurs and tossing beer bottles at me. But I’m not black enough.
Working at a Subway on the Northside of Lawton, I’ve been held at gunpoint while the store was robbed.
But I’m not black enough.
Being one of the few black kids in my class for years, I’ve patiently and sometimes impatiently endured discriminatory teachers, and demeaning comments from classmates.
My jaw dropped when my AP History teacher told my predominantly white class that”slavery wasn’t that bad.” Her excuse? Her great great somethings owned slaves and treated them like family.
Well, for the record: a pampered dog is still a dog. It only takes a single read-through of Frederick Douglass’s biography to realize the absurdity in her statement. Which I had.
Still, I’m not black enough. At least not according to numerous friends, classmates, coworkers and acquaintances over the years.
It usually boils down to three simple reasons: the way I talk, the way I dress, and the music I prefer. There’s a word for what some consider me: Oreo.
The urban dictionary defines an oreo as an “insulting term often used by blacks to derogate other blacks as “Black on the outside, white on the inside.” White on the inside meaning anything from speaking proper English, getting good grades, liking music that isn’t hip hop, rap or R&B and having a diverse group of friends.”
Don’t get me wrong, my first love will always be R&B. It was my twitter handle for the past two years. I love (good) hip-hop, too. But reggae, jazz, alternative rock, classical and pop music also suit me. Which I guess is too much for some people to handle. It’s not stereotypical enough.
I remember a time in 6th grade science class. I kept getting 100’s on our weekly assignments. Handing my paper down the aisle to me one day, the most popular kid in school made a negative remark about my grades being too preppy.
For the next few weeks I purposefully answered enough questions wrong so that I’d blend in with the class average. It was stupid. I was stupid. I just wanted to fit in.
It wasn’t until I became Senior Class President of Lawton High that I started to feel confident in who I am as an individual. As a young black man and an American. As a leader and a servant. As an artist and a nerd.
We as a people hate for others to stereotype us. So, why do we do it to ourselves?
Who defines black culture? Our past or present? Our peers or ourselves? Our politicians and musicians or our families?
If you’re an oreo like me, people will not consider you black enough because of your personality and your interests. Or because of your mannerisms. Or because of your friends and lovers.
But if they consider Trap music, twerking and basketball as the pinnacle of black culture, I would argue that they’re the ones who aren’t black enough.
Do you know about your roots? About the Nat Turners, the Michelle Alexanders, the Cornel Wests? The Nina Simones, the Lauren Hills, The Erykah Badu’s?
Who defines black culture? Definitely not me. I have many more questions about my roots than answers.
But peep this: Tupac wasn’t on a mission to encourage a thug lifestyle. Read his lyrics and his poems. He was on a mission to reverse it.
We need to liberate ourselves from the slave mentality that the media has fed us for so long. A mentality that says your personality and style has been decided for you. A mentality that says your presidential party and candidate has been decided for you. A mentality that says you will either be locked up, dead, or on welfare by age 30.
Define for yourself what your blackness means to you. Don’t let yourself be defined by what others perceive your blackness to mean.
I’m done giving a damn about what others expect me to be. I’m guessing these five amazing souls stopped giving a damn along time ago:
Dr. Cornel West
- Philosophy Professor
- Taught at Yale, Harvard, University of Paris and more
- Prominent social justice activist
- writer and spoken word artist
- not afraid to criticize America’s first black president
“We need the courage to question the powers that be, the courage to be impatient with evil and patient with people, the courage to fight for social justice.” – Dr. Cornel West
Michelle Alexander
- Author of “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness“
- Law Professor
- Civil Rights attorney
- Former director of Racial Justice Project at the ACLU
- Published essay: Why Hillary Clinton doesn’t deserve the black vote.
“More African American men are in prison or jail, on probation or parole than were enslaved in 1850, before the Civil War began.” – Michelle Alexander
Lauryn Hill
- Singer, songwriter, rapper,
- social activist
- producer
- actress
- Recipient of 5 Grammy Awards
“For two or three years I was away from all social interaction. It was a very introspective time because I had to confront my fears and master every demonic thought about inferiority, about insecurity or the fear of being black, young and gifted in this western culture.” – Lauryn Hill
Michelle Obama
- Lawyer
- Writer
- First Lady of the United States
- Advocate for healthy families
- Advocate for education for adolescent girls worldwide
“We can make a commitment to promote vegetables and fruits and whole grains on every part of every menu. We can make portion sizes smaller and emphasize quality over quantity. And we can help create a culture – imagine this – where our kids ask for healthy options instead of resisting them.” – First Lady Michelle Obama
Barack Obama
- 44th president of the United States
- Community organizer and social activist
- Former State Senator and U.S. Senator
- Brought America out of The Great Recession
- Expanded health care coverage
“The future rewards those who press on. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I don’t have time to complain. I’m going to press on.” – 44th U.S. President Barack Obama
I’m curious to learn who you think should be added to this list. Any thoughts? Spread the conversation by sharing and commenting on this post.